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Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005): C
Tabloid darlings Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie play house in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Doug Liman’s conjugal action/comedy in which the regular US Weekly cover couple play disaffected spouses who are shocked to discover that the other is a deadly assassin. Pitt and Jolie’s rapport during the household-set first half – which is sprinkled with…
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Maniac (1980): B+
It’s amazing to think that Michael Sembello’s 1983 hit “Maniac” from Flashdance was originally written as the title track to William Lustig’s splatterfest Maniac. Then again, the film’s serial killer protagonist Frank Zito (Joe Spinell) would no doubt have loved to get his hands on Jennifer Beals’ private dancer. A Son of Sam-ish madman with…
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Dark Water (2002): C
If J-horror derives its primary chills from the irrational and inexplicable, then it’s no wonder that Hideo Nakata’s literal-minded ghost story Dark Water is about as frightening as a soggy diaper. Unemployed mother Yoshimi (Hitomi Kuroki) is engaged in a bitter custody dispute over six year-old daughter Ikuko (a superb Rio Kanno), and her anxiety…
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Trekkies 2 (2004): D+
Remember all those nerds, geeks, freaks, dorks, and weirdoes from Trekkies, Roger Nygard’s condescending 1997 portrait of Star Trek fanatics? Well, they’re back in Trekkies 2, which revisits some of its predecessor’s most infamous characters – such as Barbara Adams, who wore her Space Federation uniform while serving on the Whitewater jury, or Gabe Köerner,…
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Kings and Queen (2005): A-
Acting is the lifeblood of Arnaud Desplechin’s Kings and Queens, a full-bodied melodrama about paternity, filial loyalty, and the constant quest for love, happiness, solace and sanity. Desplechin’s film begins as two concurrent stories about ex-spouses Nora (Emmanuelle Devos) and Ismaël (Mathieu Amalric), the former a single mother dealing with her father’s dwindling health while…
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Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005): B
On the basis of Me and You and Everyone We Know, precious eccentricity seems to be Miranda July’s filmmaking signature. And though such a delicate mood of weird, bemused cuteness can border on the infuriating, July’s debut feature film (which she wrote and directed after years as a celebrated conceptual artist) generally maintains a lovely…
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Wolfen (1981): C+
Mystical wolves (called “wolfen”) are roaming the streets of New York City, and the only person capable of matching their steely, murderous resolve is Albert Finney’s emotionally detached detective Dewey Wilson. Hunting rich and poor alike, these ancient creatures are the focal point of Wolfen, though Michael Wadleigh’s clunky thriller is in fact some sort…
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Monkey Shines (1988): C-
Staging a fight between a grouchy quadriplegic and a murderous monkey isn’t, in theory, a bad idea. George A. Romero’s Monkey Shines, however, is so clumsy that its climactic fight between wheelchair-bound Allan (Jason Beghe) and helper monkey Ella is simply its last instance of slipping on the proverbial cinematic banana peel. After Allan is…
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The Long Goodbye (1973): A
Legendary private dick Philip Marlowe gets a ‘70s makeover in Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye, a droll, cunning and magnificently woozy adaptation of Raymond Chandler’s final Marlowe mystery. Counterculture über-schlep Elliot Gould transforms the detective from a tough-talking, fast-acting gumshoe into a sloppy, reactive dreamer, but the brilliance of Altman’s film is that it nonetheless…
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986): B+
It makes sense that Tobe Hooper’s 1986 sequel-that-nobody-wanted The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, rather than futilely trying to replicate its illustrious predecessor’s gritty, uncompromising terror, instead opts for campy humor. Still, it’s nonetheless surprising to discover that the 180-degree tonal switcharoo works. Thirteen years after the original Lone Star state slaughter, Leatherface (Bill Johnson), scalp-eating…
